


In time you slipped away

by AbbyHolmes



Category: Top Gun (1986)
Genre: Banter, Canon Divergence (duh), Canonical Character Death, Charlie is in this too but only shortly because I don't want her to quit her job for Mav, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Grief, Happy Top Gun Day, Hurt/Comfort, Ice tries not to feel, Idiots in Love, M/M, Maverick is an oblivious idiot, Slight hint at alcohol abuse, This is me joining another dead fandom, all of the banter, fluff later on, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24168766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyHolmes/pseuds/AbbyHolmes
Summary: After Goose's death, Maverick struggles. Ice finds it increasingly hard to watch and decides to stop him from quitting his passion.At first, Maverick wonders why Ice even cares. Until they both slowly start to see the broader picture.
Relationships: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky & Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	In time you slipped away

**Author's Note:**

> So I am 28 but I watched Top Gun for the first time in my life two weeks ago (I kid you not). And after like ten minutes I already knew I would go down with this ship. So after finishing the movie, a plotbunny began forming in my head and when I realised I couldn't find a fic with the same story, I started writing.  
> This will only have a few chapters. But then again, I always say that before I start writing fics of biblical lenght so we'll see about that later.
> 
> Canon divergence: The locker room scene after Goose's death plays out a little differently and Charlie never succeeded in talking Maverick out of quitting.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Chapter one

It all started with a thought. But then again, basically everything does. Only that usually, he’d block thoughts like that from even circling around in his brain. They were useless. Hypothetical models of unwanted nature. They evoked emotion that led to distraction and distraction was dangerous in their line of work. Normally, he’d just snorted about the little hiccup in his brain. Only this time, he couldn’t. This time wasn’t ‘normally’. Normally had ended the moment he witnessed that plane falling from the sky like a dead bird. 

It had been less than a week since Goose’s death. Less than a week since Ice had found himself praying to a god he didn’t believe in not to let Maverick die in that plane he had to watch going down. Less than a week in which he hadn’t found the courage to speak to him even though he wanted to. Less than a week of watching the other pilot struggle to find his way back.

He had been gutted upon hearing about Goose’s passing. He had liked this utter goofball. Goose had been funny and kind and clever. It had been impossible not to like him. As much as they all acted as if he was actually made of ice, he was seen melting that day Goose died. Most of them had shed a tear or two about this untimely death. All of them cried with heads turned away or gazing at the floor or blinked the water away while staring into the distance. Their discipline wouldn’t allow them to admit their grief to each other. All they were allowed was half a day off and then it was back to the races. And Ice pulled himself together, disciplined as he was. Until that moment in the locker room.

Seeing the state Maverick was in made Iceman’s heart clench in his chest and he hated it for it. It had been acting up around that idiot for months now, but the worry was a new layer of unwanted feelings he couldn’t really shove away that easy. Maverick looked like a balloon without air, his shoulders hunched and his gaze distant. His eyes were surrounded by red circles, framed by dark shadows and he dragged his feet over the floor like he had to force himself to move at all. Ice stood by his own locker, hesitating and swallowing to keep his composure before he turned around. He noticed the light shiver in Maverick’s back and swallowed again. The sudden urge to make one step forward and place his hand on the other man’s shoulder was so overwhelming that he had to clench it into a fist instead. He cleared his throat and when he spoke, his voice betrayed him. As much as he wanted to hide how he felt, it trembled a bit. “Mitchell.” Maverick froze. “I’m sorry about Goose.” Ice took a deep breath, turning his eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to stop his eyes from turning wet. “Everybody liked him.” He hesitated, searching for something other than empty words but came up with nothing but another “I’m sorry.”  
Mitchell turned around and nodded, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip. He looked up at Ice, his watery eyes darting from the floor up to his face. Maverick stared at him like he was awaiting some kind of a cruel comment. Like he expected Ice to tell him that he had killed Goose. Ice swallowed again. He held back the ‘it wasn’t your fault’ that had already formed in the back of his head. Partly because he wasn’t sure if Maverick would believe him, partly because he was scared of his reaction. Now Maverick just nodded at him, his glance fixed on some point behind his back and then dropping to the floor again. For a moment, Ice stood starring at Maverick like a helpless idiot. With every second that he watched Maverick stuff things into his bag with trembling hands, the urge to walk over to him and pull him into a tigh embrace grew. When he finally knew he couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed his own bag and left. 

Ice didn’t sleep that night. He kept asking himself if it was even possible for Maverick to ever recover from the loss of his best friend. It was obvious that Maverick felt responsible for what had happened. Even though he had been cleared of any responsibility for Goose’s death, he would forever feel like the accident had been his fault. Ice understood that. He couldn’t imagine not feeling guilty if he had been in this horrible position. He couldn’t stand losing Slider that way. The RIO depended on the skills of his pilot. No matter if a plane going down was his fault or not – the weight of losing a comrade depending on him stayed on his shoulders. Ice asked himself what he would do if he was Mitchell. And then there it was. The thought that made him sit up and switch on the lamp on his nightstand. 

Walking over to Maverick’s quarters took less than five minutes so his mind didn’t have the time to catch up with him before he started hammering his fist against the other pilot’s door. He snapped back into reality when a confused looking Maverick opened the door and frowned at him.  
“What the fuck are you doing here in the middle of the bloody night, Iceman?”  
He blinked once, twice with his mind going blank while Maverick crossed his arms in front of his chest. “If you came here to tell me that I should quit you can spare yourself the hustle. I’m leaving first thing in the morning. So if you’ll excuse me-“  
“I know. I came here to tell you not to.”  
Mavericks frown grew tighter. “Excuse me?”  
Ice cleared his throat. “Can I come in?”  
The other man looked at him like he’d lost his sanity. “It’s three o’clock, Ice. And I’m not in the mood for a chat.”  
Ice chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Five minutes and you’re rid of me.”  
Maverick rolled his eyes but stepped away to make space for him entering the room.  
“Goddamnit, make it quick.”  
Ice barely stopped his brows from rising when he saw the chaos in Maverick’s room. The empty bottles in front of the TV verified what Maverick’s slightly slurred speech had already hinted at. Something tugged on his heartstrings again and he swallowed.  
Maverick appeared in front of him, his arms still crossed in front of his chest.  
“You wanted to talk? Start talking.”  
Ice looked at him and noticed that he was wearing two dog tags around his neck. He sighed.  
“Listen, man, I…I can only imagine what you’re going through. And I know I’m the last person you want to hear it from but.” He shrugged. “Don’t quit.”  
“What?”  
“It’s not your fault, Maverick. No one could have averted this.”  
Maverick chuckled. “That’s funny, you see? Cause if I remember correctly, you were the one telling me that I was dangerous. You said and I quote: ‘Every time you go up there, you’re unsafe’.”  
Ice’s jaw clenched. Part of him wanted to go back in time and punch his past self in the face.  
“You didn’t do this to Goose. It was my Jetstream. If you blame yourself, you might as well blame me.” The other man snorted. “You’re being ridiculous.”  
Now it was Ice who crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m being ridiculous? You’re one of the most talented pilot’s in the country but still willing to throw away your career and I am the one being ridiculous?”  
“So that’s what you came here for in the middle of the fucking night? To tell me that I am ridiculous?”  
Ice threw his head back, sighing. “No.”  
Maverick spread his arms, shrugging. “Then what the hell do you want from me, Kazansky?”  
“I just thought.” He paused and cleared his throat. “I imagined it had been me losing Slider and I asked myself what I would do. And I realised that I would quit if nobody held me back. I’d quit and throw away my whole life, my dream, my future. And I’d live to regret that decision forever. And since you and me, we are…” He hesitated and averted Maverick’s gaze by looking to the floor “more alike than we both want to admit, I knew you would live to regret that decision. And since Goose would have been the only one to talk you out of bullshit like that, I thought someone else had to do it.”  
Maverick chuckled with raised brows. “You? Of all people?”  
“Yes, me. Because I know that you’d do the same if it was me wallowing in his guilt.”  
“That’s a broad statement to make considering that we spend the last months hating each others guts.”  
Ice looked up at him, smirking. “Have we?”  
He watched Maverick swallow with irritation and bit back a grin. He left the silence hanging in the room another few seconds, watching Maverick walk up and down uncomfortably, until he sighed again. “We are rivals, yes. Doesn’t mean I hate you. Think of it whatever you want, Mitchell. Just, from one pilot to another: Don’t quit. I might not agree with all the choices you make up in the air but even I can see you’re good. And you didn’t kill Goose. Damn, he’d hit you in your pretty face if he knew that you’re even considering giving up on flying.”  
Maverick turned to him, his jaw and fists clenched. “Leave him out of this. I fucking killed him.”  
The rest of Ice’s smile crumbled. “God, you actually believe that?”  
“Don’t you?”  
Ice watched tears gather in Maverick’s eyes and the urge to just fucking hug him came back with a vengeance. “No. No, I don’t. I believe that you did everything you could but in our job sometimes…sometimes there’s nothing we can do.”  
“I was a fucking training mission, Kazansky. I killed him in a fucking training mission.”  
Maverick let himself fall on his sofa, his face in his hands, looking like a deflated balloon again.  
“I can’t go on. I just can’t.”  
Ice stood there, watching him for more than a full minute. Everything inside him wanted to comfort Maverick, but his brain told him not to. It was a sob, barely audible, that finally cracked him and shut his brain up. He walked over to Maverick and slowly sat down next to him. His hand hovered a good second over his shoulder before he eventually touched it.  
Maverick flinched, but didn’t move away.  
“There is no point in punishing yourself. All you can do is to find a way back. You are a pilot, Mav. And if you stop being one, it will break you.” Maverick lifted his head, chuckling and wiping his wet eyes with the back of his hand. “Already broken I’d say.”  
Their eyes met. Ice shook his head. “You’re too much of a bastard to break.” He lifted his hand from the other man’s shoulder and forced himself on his feet. “Do yourself the favour and sleep on it. At least graduate tomorrow. See where it goes from there.”  
Maverick sighed with a slow nod. “If I say I will, will you finally leave me alone?”  
Ice rolled his eyes. “Yes.”  
“Alright then I'll sleep on it.”  
“Good.”  
They fell silent until Iceman cleared his throat. “I should go.”  
Maverick frowned. “Yeah. You should.”  
Ice was heading for the door, when Maverick’s voice held him back.  
“Hey, Kazansky?”  
“What?”  
“Why do you care?”  
Ice sighed. “Still have to figure that one out myself.”  
He left before Maverick got a chance to reply to that.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback greatly apprechiated.


End file.
